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These are the rules for a proper ManBQue MEATing:

 

Only men attend ManBQue MEATings

 

Vegetarians are not allowed at ManBQue MEATings. (Unless they bring us meat…or allow us to throw tomatoes and eggs at them)

 

Any vegetables served at ManBQue MEATings must be within the tight parameters of meat in the form of a kabob

 

ManBQue MEATings should only be held during the week. Weekends are for CoedBQues where there is a slight chance of actually going home with a woman

 

No less than 4 different meats are to be served at ManBQue MEATings. There is a maximum of 17 ½ meats* allowed. *Processed meats such as non-beef hot dogs and gyro meat count as a ½ meat.

 

You must bring enough meat to share with fellow ManBQue MEATing attendees… Unless you killed it, then you can bring the one piece for yourself.

 

You must also bring enough beers to share. Trading of beers is only allowed if beers being traded are of equal value and taste.

 

Be aware that your beer is a reflection of you and you will probably be judged based on your selection.

 

The grill at the ManBQue MEATings must always be in use, with no less than 3 pieces of meat being cooked.

 

Loose fitting attire is encouraged at ManBQue MEATings; sweatpants or basketball shorts being the suggested attire.

 

Pets are allowed at ManBQue MEATings; pit bulls, dinosaurs, gorillas and great white sharks being the preferred variety.

 

Swords and power tools are encouraged to be on hand at ManBQue MEATings, but not necessary.

 

There shall be no use of utensils at ManBQue MEATings unless it’s a grilling tool.

 

You must shout at ManBQue MEATings.

 

Always exaggerate at ManBQue MEATings.

 

There is no asking at ManBQue MEATings; there is only taking.

 

The only accepted greeting, form of encouragement or sign of appreciation at ManBQue MEATings is a shout of “MANBQUE!”

 

Guests at ManBQue MEATings must directly be invited by a presiding member of ManBQue. If not invited, aspiring guests must attempt to bribe the committee with alcohol, meat or gold. (This will not guarantee entry into ManBQue MEATings, but it’s a start)

 

When referring to a female life partner, a woman you are currently having “relations” with, a woman who has bore your spawn or any other woman (not blood related) whom you let into your living space more than twice a week, you must refer to this woman as “My Old Lady.”

 

No emotions shall be present at ManBQue MEATings*. This being said, insults, false accusations and any other derogatory comments aimed at MEATing invitees are strongly encouraged.

 

*Accepted emotions: Euphoric happiness and enjoyment brought on by mass alcohol and/or meat consumption, hate and disgust.